Dr. Layne has taught us that sex is a great example of going back and forth between subject and object but never both. That at any given point of intercourse you are either the subject (the doer) or the object (the one being done).
I agree that most of the time we, couples, are teeter tottering between being the object and the subject. I disagree that you can not be both. I have been married for almost 15 years now and with going into to pornographic detail have been both the object and the subject simultaneously.
When you give everything you have of yourself to your self and to your partner there is an amazing sense of freedom, comfort, safety, love, passion, animalistic urges, fear, craziness, euphoria and love that I feel only comes after both parties agree to be free. Free to share anything and everything with each other. Being vulnerable enough to make mistakes, learn from them and be a better lover afterwards.
I have been both Subject and Object............have you?
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