His/Her or Her/His?

Since the school year is winding down I, like all other students, have to write a couple of papers. Each time I face the same challenge when referring to individuals. Do I say their, his/her, or her/his? Or do I avoid the issue and try to reword my sentence. As absurd as it is, there has been plenty of times where I have found it easier to reword my sentence than to conquer the issue and write it as I planned.

It reminds me of when I was learning my body parts when I was younger. My mom would refuse for my to have nicknames for any part of my body. Although I was made sure to know that they were considered private parts, I was taught that girls have vaginas and breasts while boys have penises. My mom explains today that she believes giving these "private parts" nicknames only gives them more power. A penis is a part of your body just like an elbow is. Although we laugh about it today, I can appreciate what my mom was trying to teach my siblings and me.

I feel the same way about the issue of choosing which way to write "his/her". I think that there is entirely too much conversation about the grammatical way of writing it. I am actually a tad upset that I am contributing to the commotion by blogging about it. I understand the argument that "his" should not be first all of the time because, well why should it? And I understand that in a very literal way it is still putting men before women. But if we make so much fuss over the issue than we are just showing that there is power behind "his" being first ( just like my childhood lesson). It shouldn't matter. If women are constantly trying to become equal with men than we should not be affected that "his" is first instead of "her". If equality means that neither has more weight or pull than the fact that people are so upset when "his" is placed first does not make entire sense. It would be the same issue if "her" was always placed first.

Or maybe I am misinterpreting my mother's lesson? Maybe the fact that "his" is first IS giving power to the man behind the word. Maybe we should find a neutral word. But to me that would completely erase all identity. It would erase the essence of men and women.

I know that this is a very small problem in the bigger picture , but I think it tells a lot. It shows that we have a long way to go before men and women are considered equal. It shows that there is a great amount of progress that needs to be made before his or her, she and him, manhood and womanhood, do not have power behind their placement in a sentence. I am happy the fact that these questions are being proposed and addressed and that even these small issues are not being tip-toed around anymore. But, where should we draw the line between acknowledging women's equality and completely bashing men and their history? I am not sure the solution to this problem or if by not changing it I am just surrendering to the problem and avoiding it, but it is something to consider.